home+sick

so, not going to lie, living 1547 miles away from home really sucks.

really sucks.

don't get me wrong, tay's family is my home away from home

and i love them very dearly, but sometimes you just need your mom.

today my homesickness really hit me hard.

it normally does about this time of the year, i'm not sure why but today it was a doosy.

i mean snot sucking, eye-closing, heart aching homesick.

i don't know if it was because i'm a bit of a hormonal mess,

or if the events of this week have finally caught up to me.

things around the hawkins household has been difficult lately.

i won't go into it, but it's really taught me a lot about life.

about how valuable a relationship between a husband and wife really is,

and how much friendships really do come and go, but your marriage,

and the support and commitment the two of you made is eternal.

i also learned today that part of maturing is learning to hold your tongue.

and when you finally decide to let that tongue go, to do it in a mature, responsible, kind way.

there are those who don't give a crap about what anybody else thinks

and will say or do whatsoever they please, then there are those,

like me, who are the ultimate people pleasers.

oh, you didn't like how i put that pencil on your desk?

please, give it back and i'll do it again. i'm sorry. did i hurt your feelings? how can i make it better?

barf.

now don't get me wrong, i'm opinionated and will tell you if i have a problem or something is wrong,

but 90% of the time it will come out three hours later, in bitter words,

hateful door slams and stomping of my feet like a four year old throwing a tantrum.

at least when i have a child, i'll be able to relate to them, right?

HA.

believe me; it's not pretty. nor am i proud of it.

but at least i'm recognizing it.

i'm coming to terms that i am not perfect by any means of the word.

and i'm okay with it.

i'm learning how to become the best me one day at a time.

isn't that what this life is all about?

anyway, enough of my ranting.

on the plus side i'm excited to see who wins the giveaway on sunday!

if you haven't entered, do it!

the giveaway closes saturday at midnight so hurry your buns over to the post and enter!

so this post is kindof all over the place, but if you have anything to add,

i would genuinely love to hear it.

maybe you used to be (or still are) like me and have advice for me-

that would be the bomb.com, so please share!

oh, and the princess bride just came on tv...score.

{A&T}

Tuesday Tuesday

tuesday.

not monday, which is a plus.

but also not wednesday; hump day.

i'm not normally a huge fan of tuesday,

although this tuesday is special;

it's my baby sister's birthday!

happy birthday wordy!

don't worry, our parents aren't crazy. her real name isn't wordy, it's michaela

find our wonderful family photographer & best friend here!

happy nineteenth birthday little sissy!

here are some memories i have of ms gould;

+riding sleeping bags down the stairs

+singing to michael jackson's Black or White...dressed in black & white

+riding bikes to pfaff's (a drugstore by our house back home in Michigan)

and getting a crap-ton of penny candy

+lemonade stands

+playing house and dolphins in marie & maggie's pool

+early christmas mornings

+bride & prejudice

love you honey bunny!

ps, she's single ;)

so on saturday, tay was taking pictures of me for my first giveaway.
he snapped some of these beauties and i thought i'd share my outfit that day, since i loved it!

i got these leggings at the garment district in california for $12-a steal, right?

love love love them!

+leggings: CA garment district (similar)    +boots: forever young shoes    +shirt: forever 21

+cardigan: forever 21    +scarf: H&M

{A&T}

GIVEAWAY!

happy weekend lovelies!
thank you for all the support with charlie-i appreciate it!
and guess what? we found him! but i'll tell you that story later-i have exciting news!

my friend Lauren at Aiden Modern Vintage agreed to do a ring giveaway for one of you lucky ladies!

i love rings.

i used to be one of those girls that seriously had a ring on almost every finger, until i got married. i think i felt like i wanted to show off my wedding ring (you know, giddy newlywed wanting to show everyone) so i stopped wearing all my rings but lately i've been getting my collection back and came across lauren's store on Etsy and fell in love with these delicate, simple, classy chevron knuckle rings!

(please pardon the weird crease in my nail polish...not really sure what's going on there-oh, and like my mole? ha!)

so cute, right?
and it's adjustable! cha-ching!

check out her store-she's got a lot of other cute things too; 

super cute earrings, hair bows, bracelets, and hair wraps, among other things!

[TO ENTER]

>>be a follower of this blog

>>like Aiden Modern Vintage on facebook &  twitter

>>follow Aiden Modern Vintage on instagram @aidenmodernvillage

>>follow Aiden Modern Vintage boards on pinterest 

don't forget to leave an email address when you comment so i know how to contact the winner!

the giveaway will run from today through next saturday (march 30th) at midnight.

good luck!

{A&T}

Address Labels-Giveaway?

happy first day of spring everybody!

speaking of spring time, spring time means wedding time.

wedding times means invite time.

invite time means addressing a bajillion envelopes.

that's why today, i made these, at work:

giveaway worthy?

let me know!

just leave me a comment below.

i'm more than happy to arrange a giveaway!

we all need a little more motivation to write letters these days.

in other news, my mother-in-law spotted Charlie today in their backyard!

the first time they've seen him in ten days!

and he's alive!

as soon as they opened the door to snatch him, he "shot off like a rocketship"

at least that's what mama hawkins said

i rushed over as soon as i got off work and searched for him for two hours,

up and down the block, until it got dark and started to rain.

poor guy.

tay is still there setting live traps for him and keeping an eye on the big rocks he loves

to climb on when we would let him outside with us, hoping to have better luck than me.

thanks to those who reached out in support-continue to cross your fingers and say your prayers for little mister charlie!

one more thing:

rumor has it Google Reader is going away this summer.

please continue following me here on bloglovin'

until that time comes, you can still find me here.

{A&T}

bittersweet goodbyes

one of the reasons i started blogging was because it's an easy way for me to record taylor and i's life together.

writing has always come easily to me, but since i'm awful at journaling,

i figured blogging was the way to go.

plus i love sharing our life with you guys!

i don't ever want to forget any memories with my life with taylor, even the awful ones.

this, unfortunately, is not one of my typical chipper posts-so if you only read

sunshine, rainbow & butterfly posts, you may want to skip this one.

if you follow me on instagram, you know that taylor and i are parents

to an adorable orange tabby cat named charlie.

we have had charlie since he was four months old, i got him for taylor for our one year anniversary.

taylor and i found out late saturday evening that charlie had been missing from

the care of mama and papa hawkins (taylor's parents) the previous sunday evening while we left on vacation.

(well, taylor knew before me but he didn't let me in on the news until then)

i was sitting on the couch in california, contemplating our week in california

and preparing myself mentally for the nine hour drive home when taylor sat down

next to me and tenderly grabbed my hand-he had bad news, i could see it in his eyes.

my thoughts instantly turned to charlie

he told me he had been missing from his parents house since sunday evening

and i instantly had a sense of anger, sadness and confusion overcome my body.

i couldn't believe it-the one time we go on a long vacation and he gets lost!

not only was he lost, it was literally like he had vanished.

the last time mama hawkins saw him was sunday evening before they left to go to a fireside.

she said she had been acting strange that whole day, and she hadn't seen him much but she didn't really think anything of it, as he is usually a bit skiddish around places he isn't used to.

by the time monday night rolled around and no food was gone from the dish, she was getting worried.

she told taylor's brother-in-law, who we were staying, with that she hadn't seen him but he sort of just laughed it off as something that shouldn't be much of a concern-it was just a cat.

he checked back with her on thursday to see if they had found him and she told him they had searched the house, their backyard, the neighborhood, called animal control, the police, emailed everyone in their ward about it, set out food everywhere around the house, and even woke up at 5 am everyday to search for him! nothing!

they even called in hunting dogs to smell him out to see if he was in the house stuck or hiding somewhere! seriously, it was literally like he had disappeared.

the more i heard about the situation and all the trouble they went through, my anger and sadness turned to gratitude toward our family that they put so much care and concern into finding little charlie-

what a blessing to have such a devoted family!

(they know all about someone being lost-their son brennan was lost for five days)

unfortunately, we still haven't heard anything about our kitty charlie and have come to terms that we will probably never see him again.

the tears have been shed and the toys tidied up at the close of this chapter in our lives.

i know what you're thinking-aren't you being a bit dramatic about all this?

maybe, yes, but he was our companion, our best friend, our greeter when we got home at night, and the best napping buddy a couple could ever have.

and who knows-maybe this is the Lord telling us we better get crackin' on having children

(tay would beg to say otherwise i think)

we've talked about getting another cat but i think we need to wait a little while longer before we jump into that.

so charlie, wherever you are, we love you and hope you're sleeping soundly on the lap of a little girl or boy, bringing joy and happiness to their lives (and not scratching up their furniture).

{A&T}

Free Fonts & Macaroons

i had my first macaroon today

salted caramel

nom nom, it was delish!

i had a little down time tonight-walking around/laying by the pool all day in the hot sun has worn us out so it was a perfect evening to just relax (first world problems, right? should i have hashtagged?),

so i put together these fonts for you guys! enjoy!

(oh! and i forgot to tell you all the great news!

i will be having my first giveaway-check back next week for more details!)

//champignon//some weatz//coneria script//

//ma sexy//chopin script//dawning of a new day//

//edwardian script//english 111 presto//scriptina//

{A&T}

California Sunshine

greetings from sunny california!

after twelve hours in the car

we finally made it to california sunday night

(we got stuck in traffic for three hours!)

thank the heavens for survivor & despicable me which kept me entertained through the thick of the traffic while my dear husband drove-the whole way there!

(he's the best)

yesterday we went grocery shopping at trader joe's, then tay and i went shopping at south coast plaza and found some cute new stuff! then once we got home, mariah made home-made

pepperoni and tomato pizza and we watched the bachelor finale!

yay catherine and sean! and yay desiree for being the next bachelorette!

today we made the treck to ojai to visit tay's uncle brad and walk around the harbor-it was beautiful!

i had some killer shrimp tacos at surf n' taco, and made a little friend! it reminded me so much of home being at the beach it was unreal. it's amazing how certain smells can remind you of places and memories- the smells of the water and feeling of sand, the sound of seagulls and wind in my hair reminds me so much of home! can't wait to visit there in august!

(sammy the seal! he was so adorable!)

we are loving the sunshine and warm weather-
such a great break from snowy salt lake-beach tomorrow!

can't wait to show you all the rest of our adventures-

including a hot air balloon ride on Thursday!

anybody ever been?

{A&T}

hello!

hello

to all of my new lovely followers!

i can't wait to see who wins rylee's giveaway--
thank you for all your positive feedback on them!

so glad you're here!

so this morning, taylor went pheasant hunting with his brothers and dad

(yeah, my husband's pretty manly)

so mama hawkins and i had the whole day to ourselves!

we decided to go on a nice long walk (yay for blue skies!),

then made pumpkin chocolate chip cookies

(i'll put the recipe up on my next post after california-it's so easy you will pee your pants!)

for our drive down to california, then went to get our oil changed.

while we were waiting for them to finish (it took two hours...long story-i won't get into it now)

mama hawkins and i went over to savers which was nearby

and right when you walk in there is a giant shelf of books! kids books, parenting books,

biographies, mysteries, teen, westerns...literally every genre you could think of.

jody, being the wonderful grandma she is, she instantly went over to look for some

childrens books for little lukey (and of course our future little munchkins)

& as we were browsing we realized the books are in

awesome condition considering they were all used!

the more we dug, the more gems we found!

look at this guys--so many classics!

and i only paid $4.42 for all six + one i got for mariah/luke when we see them!

i found (in case you can't see all the titles)

//a giant lift-the-flap book of winnie the pooh//

//piggies//

(taylor showed me this when we went to gardner village

last weekend and we almost bought it-so glad we didn't!)

//the kissing hand//

//lilly's purple plastic purse//

//love you forever--classic!//

//&barnyard dance//

 i couldn't believe how many i found that i read when i was little!

i can't wait to read all these to our kids when that time comes.

do you guys have any favorite books i should be on the lookout for

or any awesome spots you've found little gems?

hope the rest of your weekend is lovely!

(oh yeah, and we leave for california tomorrow, in case you forgot-freaking! so stoked! pictures to come!)

{A&T}

Too Little

started packing tonight, as you can see, for california...

i seriously have no summer clothes right now...this is a problem.

and end up reading blogs for an hour...i think i should be tested for a.d.h.d.

anywho, as i was packing, i realized i'm a really horrible packer
anyone have any tips or tricks for me out there?
(besides using a larger suitcase..that's a no-brainer)
i just pick outfits...and shoes...for every day that i'll be gone
and i'm quickly running out of room in my little suitcase!
help!

{A&T}

work it.

happy tuesday everyone!

only five days until we leave for sunny california!

YAY!

okay so i know how everyone hates when people brag when they work out

but this last week i figured i should probably start getting real about my work out 

regimen to get fit for the summer and found this video and really wanted to share with you guys.

i've always been a lover of yoga (& a hater of gyms) so i went to search for

core strengthening yoga workouts on youtube and found this little gem.

i did it yesterday for the first time and holy moly it is awesome.

it focuses mostly on your thighs, butt, and abs.

(and it's only 30 minutes which is a huge plus!)

this video paired with jogging will get me back to my eight pack in no time...

oooohhhhh yeaaahhhh.

OH! and if you don't have an exercise ball, don't worry.

i just put my legs up on my couch and it did the trick.

do you have any great workouts you love doing?

let me know-i'd love to hear!

oh, and happy hump day tomorrow.

{A&T}

free fonts & sunny saturday

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Spring Fever

hello lovelies

i hope everyone's week was great

the weather this week has been fabulous!

spring is definitely just around the corner-

it's supposed to be 50 degrees tomorrow!

the other day during my lunch i went to plato's closet

with a friend from work to see if i could find some church

clothes, since i have like five outfits i wear every month to church

(maybe you can relate?)

while i was there, i found two adorable skirts

i found this maxi skirt (for $10! steal!)

i paired it with this chambray top (target),

leopard flats (uptown cheapskate)

& a short necklace (boutique)

you can bet this will be a spring time favorite for me!

the second skirt i found ($5!) paired with the chambray

(which is my most valuable piece of clothing-it goes with everything!)

mix with a short boot or flat and cute earrings or bracelet and you're good to go!

you can bet these outfits will be in my suitcase to sunny california

(which is in nine days, by the way!)

oh, and happy birthday to my wonderful father yesterday--what a stud.

i love you daddy!

{a&t}