June 4, 2014

| hospital visit |

holy smokes it's been a wild week to say the least.
last thursday night after venturing down to lindon for a dear friend
of mine's wedding reception, i returned home about 10:00, instantly went to bed and
woke up about two hours later with some intense back pain.
now i've had back pain with this whole pregnancy, but the last few
days the pain was concentrated mostly in my lower back.
i knew that was a sign of preterm labor, but never having gone through
it before, i didn't really know what to expect-i assumed contractions were only in your stomach.
honestly, i didn't think anything of it.

i got up to go to the bathroom and found myself spotting fresh blood (tmi..sorry).
i quickly woke up tay and told him we needed to go to the hospital, stat.
my hospital bag wasn't completely packed, so i didn't grab it-we just rushed out
the door, since i was in so much pain.
we got to the OB Emergency room and they put me in a room to be monitored.
after checking me out, we were all surprised to learn that i was dilated to a 4.
the contractions in my back were coming about 4 minutes apart and incredibly
intense, and they told tay and i that we should get ready to go in for an
emergency c-section.
now, being just two days shy of my 34 week mark, i was terrified.
not only for my little babes, but like, shaking, sweating, dizzy, freaked out of my mind-terrified
of having my c section.
i just wanted to make it to 34 weeks!
after that, i was in the safety zone and everything would have been fine.
sure, they would have been in the NICU for a few weeks, but they would be
fully developed, just small.
i looked at tay with the shocked look on his face.
it was unreal. we were going to have these babies, TONIGHT.
i have never felt more unprepared in my life.

after moving us to a different room to get prepped, a nurse came in and 
told us that they actually wanted to try to stop labor, since the babies need all the time
they can get to be more fully developed.
they started me on some pills that would slow my contractions down,
as well as some pain medication (which i threw up from, so they gave me smaller doses).
it was a very long night of monitoring the babies, taking vitals, being given pill after pill,
shots of steroids to help the babies' lungs, in case labor couldn't be stopped, and tears.

after everything had calmed down a bit, and we had a break between medications and vitals,
tay and his dad gave me a priesthood blessing.
honestly, i was still in so much pain and pretty out of it, that i don't remember what was said
in the blessing, i just remember feeling comforted and knowing that whatever
happens is what is supposed to happen.
if they come now, they'll be fine.
if they come in a week, they'll be fine.
and i'll be fine.

friday consisted of more monitoring, pills and
finally being able to eat since there was no change in dilation.
don't ask me how there was no change..the doctor said that if we were
to move up to a 5, they would no longer hold off on the c section but go ahead
with the surgery. 
i leave that part up to the Lord.

saturday tay went to work, so i just hung out and watched way too much tv.
still no change, my contractions moved further and further apart, and i was feeling
more and more back to normal.
our goal was to make it to monday and we would hopefully be released
to go home on bed rest, but they actually let us go sunday evening!

i can't praise my nurses and doctor enough, they were amazing.
not to mention my rock-he was with me the entire time,
helping me through my contractions, holding my hands,
wiping my tears and constantly telling me everything will be okay.
i can't imagine going through that with anyone else.
i'm also so grateful for family and friends who were there to support us
and continuously do so.
this little hiccup in things is exactly what we needed.
despite the terrifying way it happened, it made me more ready to know what
to expect when it really happens.

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